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Topic Summary - Displaying 15 post(s).
Posted by: Swancrash Posted on: 09. Dec 2012 at 05:41
Had a wonderful time reading all about James McIntyre, which inspired me, with deepest apologies to Joyce Kilmer:

I think that I shall never see,
A poem lovely as a cheese,
But I am so happy to espy,
So many attempts gone slightly awry.
Posted by: Forum Administrator Posted on: 30. Nov 2012 at 14:13
This year's pre-eminent cheese verse, or opus caseum:

"A Commonwealth of Cheeses" by Paul Marlowe
Posted by: faere Posted on: 06. Dec 2009 at 13:01
and the saga does continue.....

shall cheese sit idling on a rack?
ignored, or simply put back!
NO, says I,
cheese has its place
upon an open sandwich face!
delicate texture, or even as rind
always and forever be so kind
to the fromage
I suggest even possibly a corsage!
honor that cheese, I say!
add grapes, add wine
and never, EVER forget to dine
with our precious and complex friend-
our cheese
for if you please,
there is no reason for an cheese to sit idly by
no reason at all, and if there was I shall cry!
possibly even sacrifice myself and die...
for a specatular cheese-or even the string
if the cheese will have me, i shall consider offering a ring!
cheese is a love, a place in my heart
saints willing, we shall never be apart!
Posted by: J.D. Posted on: 30. Nov 2009 at 10:32
Check out the James McIntyre Poetry Contest at  

This year's winner is "Elegy for a Shrinking Cheese."

Associated with this event is a "Dairy Ode" Contest (a form created by McIntyre).  Some of the entries include:

To a Vain Cheese
The Noble Cheddar
A Cheese Whiz
Ode to the Cream Separator

Posted by: faere Posted on: 11. Feb 2007 at 04:03
cheese-never forgotten
never, i say!!
you cannot live life without it,
not even for a day!
cheese of exquisite sharpness~~
fromage of delicate sweetness~~
queso of the finest mammal~~
and flavor
you must always savor~
tis cheese, oh cheese
to me, cheese bring
even if it is simply by string
Posted by: faere Posted on: 03. Jul 2006 at 15:44
of late i have a summer cold with a sneeze
but, that will not stop me from gorging on cheese
morning noon or night
i must have a cheese
gouda or blarney castle or provalone please
alone or with sandwich--melted on a steak
i cannot forgo cheese, not even for cake
it's cheese in the summer
refreshing and tasty
i will always love it--
 even more than pumkin pasty
please please please for a cheese....
Posted by: faere Posted on: 13. Apr 2006 at 17:11
just the posts were hilarious!!

Cheese, cheese, o'please for a cheese
at deepest night, hair floating on the breeze
mouth around that precious cheese-
at morn' with toast, plate on my knees
please, please, please for a cheese-
raisin or swiss, havarti (oh YUM)
twas never a cheese that was wasted or dumb-
in my fridge, in my picnic basket, or on the road
cheese can please
even cheese you can squeeze!-
celebrate cheese, love cheese
it will almost never let you down
it only seeks the palate-to please

to be cont'd

Posted by: Forum Administrator Posted on: 16. Oct 2005 at 13:25
Were McIntyre, the poet laureate of cheese, still among the living, it is certain that he would have commemorated the epic (and tragic) story of the Saguenay Cheese;action=dis...
in verse. However, in lieu of his poetical wisdom, here is Paul Marlowe's contribution to the small but growing corpus of cheese poetry: a memorial to a tonne of cheese, lost in the Saguenay fiord.

The Saguenay Cheese

Women weep and brave men sneeze
When they learn of the loss of the Saguenay Cheese.

But O that bold abyssal curd that plumbed the depths where krakens dwell,
And saw such sights as freeze men’s hearts, of which the cheese shall never tell.

Gone! Gone! Perdu! O mighty cheese, adieu!

Gone to the heavens or gone to the seas,
We’ll never know more of the Saguenay Cheese.

Posted by: John Owen Posted on: 06. Mar 2005 at 23:55
I know this thread is pretty much dead, seeing as how no one has posted since last August, but I just happened upon this poem by G. K. Chesterton:


 Stilton, thou shouldst be living at this hour

 And so thou art.  Nor losest grace thereby;

 England has need of thee, and so have I--

 She is a Fen.  Far as the eye can scour,

 League after grassy league from Lincoln tower

 To Stilton in the fields, she is a Fen.

 Yet this high cheese, by choice of fenland men,

 Like a tall green volcano rose in power.

 Plain living and long drinking are no more,

 And pure religion reading 'Household Words',

 And sturdy manhood sitting still all day

 Shrink, like this cheese that crumbles to its core;

 While my digestion, like the House of Lords,

 The heaviest burdens on herself doth lay.

Read the entire essay from whence this poem came here:

I love Blaylock and I love this forum (just wish it was contributed to more often!)

-John Owen
Posted by: B. Pulley Posted on: 28. Aug 2004 at 10:07
I can almost see Bufo standing on a chair shouting out the words with Gump sitting somewhere nearby, itching to tell him how ludicrous it was because he had no effort in the writing of it.

Gads, we need more Balumnia books!  Smiley


Posted by: Forum Administrator Posted on: 27. Aug 2004 at 19:29
Not cheese poetry, but I think it puts one in mind of Jonathan Bing:

“AHOY! and O-ho! and it ’s who ’s for the ferry?”  
   (The briar ’s in bud and the sun going down)  
“And I ’ll row ye so quick and I ’ll row ye so steady,  
   And ’t is but a penny to Twickenham Town.”  
 The ferryman’s slim and the ferryman’s young,
 With just a soft tang in the turn of his tongue;  
And he ’s fresh as a pippin and brown as a berry,  
   And ’t is but a penny to Twickenham Town.

From Twickenham Ferry
by Théophile Marzials
Posted by: Forum Administrator Posted on: 25. Mar 2004 at 20:26
To carry on with the cheese theme, while browsing Amazon I came across this amusingly ironic listing (now sadly out of print):

"Effects of advertising on the demand for cheese"
by James Blaylock

No doubt penned by a different Blaylock, but I suspect the Elfin Ship is a pretty good advertisement for raisin cheese.
Posted by: Jim_Fortner Posted on: 04. Dec 2003 at 20:48
I also liked Hints to Cheese Makers on that website:

"For dairymen find that it doth pay
To fatten pigs upon the whey,
For there is money raising grease
As well as in the making cheese."
Posted by: cnabokov Posted on: 04. Dec 2003 at 17:37
Does McIntyre recite this dressed as a bird?

"In featered expectation, wait I will....."
Posted by: Geoff Posted on: 02. Dec 2003 at 01:56
To quote the Professor:

That was stuff. I was under the influence of the rays of the Moon. Such things are known to set people mad and make them spout nonsense.